Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Soybeans Against War!

Who knew that we had pacifist plants in our midst? And that old people were dreaming about them -- again?

Apparently, CNN:

Rediscovering Peace Crop dreams in retirement.

Unfortunately, the article turned out to be substantially more mundane than the headline would suggest. Something about volunteers and Africa. Boring!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Gross Miscalculation

Within weeks after the 1990 launch of the Hubble Space Telescope, observers noticed a serious problem with its optical system, which was returning fuzzier-than-expected images. Scientists discovered that the multi-billion-dollar telescope's mirror was barely 2.3 micrometers off from the required shape -- a small miscalculation that caused very large, very expensive problems.

Beverly Willis, who penned this letter to the editor of the Catonsville Times, also made a serious miscalculation regarding the distance of her car from the curb. She seems to find it strange that it would be "illegal to park more than 12 feet from the curb." By my calculations, that would put you on the other side of the street. So yes, Beverly, it really is "that big of a deal if [you're] parked 18 feet from the curb as opposed to 12." The extra six feet will, indeed, obstruct the public safety of your neighborhood. Thanks for asking.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Probably Certainly

CNN effectively watered down its dire predictions for Hurricane Ike with this rather meaningless phrase: Forecasters warn Ike may bring "certain death" (emphasis mine).

Because there is no way to be "a little bit dead," I guess most everything that can cause death can also cause "certain" death, including Hurricane Ike, weapons of mass destruction and trans fats.

Thanks to Sarah for spotting this say-nothing headline!