Frozen Meet

Check out this awesome MSNBC caption:

"Runner Janet Cool displays frozen meet during the grocery auction in Dallas, Pa."

Perhaps Ms. Cool also will by some carats, serial, pairs, and flower too go with her meet.

Homophones. They'll getcha every time.

Feeling Fusy

Some house hunters might be picky about the number of bathrooms, the size of the bedrooms or the newness of the kitchen appliances. But even the pickiest of the bunch apparently are not fussy about spelling:

Show to your Fusiest Buyers !!!!

(Once again, I'll ignore the random capitalization and excessive punctuation.)

Tip of the Week: That vs. Which

Ever notice that little squiggle you get sometimes in Word when you type in “that” vs. “which”? That happens because these words are not interchangeable, strictly speaking.

Essential vs. nonessential clauses:
Some modifying elements of a sentence are essential – they restrict the meaning of a modified term – while others are nonessential and don’t restrict the modified term’s meaning. These nonessential elements are set off with commas.

“That” is used in essential clauses and is not preceded by a comma. “Which” is used in nonessential clauses and is preceded by a comma.

Examples:
I bought the picture frames that were on sale.

“That were on sale” is an essential clause because the point of the sentence is that I did not just buy any frames; I bought “the frames that were on sale.” If I were to delete this clause, it would change the essential meaning of the sentence. Note that there is no comma before “that.”

We went to Harold's house, which is just across the street.

“Which is just across the street” is a nonessential clause because I can delete it without changing the essential meaning of the sentence. Because it is nonessential, set it apart with a comma.

Bottom Line:
If you leave out the element or put it somewhere else in the sentence, does the essential meaning of the sentence change? If so, the element is essential; if not, it is nonessential.

Irish I Were Subjunctive

Happy St. Patty's Day! Today the Irish can teach us a little lesson in the use of the subjunctive mood.

Which of these pins is right?
Irish I were drunk!
Irish I was drunk!

Thanks to the subjunctive, "were" is the winner.

The oft overlooked subjunctive mood is a verb mood used in dependent clauses to express wishes, commands, emotion, possibility, judgment, opinion, necessity, or statements that are contrary to fact at present.

The past subjunctive is used after the verb to wish, as in "I wish he were Irish" or "I wished he were Irish." The past subjunctive also is used after the conjunction if in a contrary-to-fact statement, as in "If I were Irish, I would be drunk."

I happen to be mostly Polish, so, alas, I am sober.

Just for Fun

OK, so the exclamation point does its job in making sure motorists in this little English village understand to slow down for the kittens, but still, I think "slow kittens" is much funnier.

The Royal We

This top story seems to have taken "the royal we" a bit too far:

Princes sends note to family

I read the story, and there was only one prince involved. But clearly this headline writer wasn't sure if the prince constituted one person or many. Might as well cover all your bases with the plural noun and the singular verb, no?

Shim

Finally, Twitter has proved its usefulness. It's not that I care what you're having for breakfast or what mood you happen to be in right now. And it's not that we're all dying to find out what Congress is micro-blogging about when they should be listening to the president's speech. No, Twitter, in its own small way, apparently is advancing the age-old conversation about the English language's lack of a gender-neutral pronoun. Read this article on CNN.com to find out more.

One of the most prevalent and irksome grammar mistakes is the use of "they" when you really mean "he or she," as in: A doctor must care for their patient, or Everyone hates their in-laws. But the alternatives are only marginally better: Everyone hates his or her in-laws (how cumbersome); Everyone hates his in-laws (now you're sexist).

I doubt it will happen in my lifetime, but I yearn for the day when a functional, widely accepted set of gender-neutral pronouns will come to the rescue. What about "shim" as a nice alternative to "him or her"? Anyone have any gender-neutral pronoun suggestions?