Gross Miscalculation

Within weeks after the 1990 launch of the Hubble Space Telescope, observers noticed a serious problem with its optical system, which was returning fuzzier-than-expected images. Scientists discovered that the multi-billion-dollar telescope's mirror was barely 2.3 micrometers off from the required shape -- a small miscalculation that caused very large, very expensive problems.

Beverly Willis, who penned this letter to the editor of the Catonsville Times, also made a serious miscalculation regarding the distance of her car from the curb. She seems to find it strange that it would be "illegal to park more than 12 feet from the curb." By my calculations, that would put you on the other side of the street. So yes, Beverly, it really is "that big of a deal if [you're] parked 18 feet from the curb as opposed to 12." The extra six feet will, indeed, obstruct the public safety of your neighborhood. Thanks for asking.

You're Spelingg Sux

This bumper sticker has two errors for the price of one. I think most of us are familiar with the oh-so-funny car accessory and T-shirt phrase, "If you can read this, you're too close." However, this version missed the mark -- by a mile. Honk if you love grammar!

Better Than Christmas?

Happy National Punctuation Day! Finally, a holiday to which I can really relate. Check out the photo evidence of poor punctuation at work in the community.

Breakfast of Champions

I'm not even going to guess what the sign maker meant by this. All I can say is you better start saving your cash if you want to order a spoon, too.

Thanks, Kate. Ohio is just full of these little gems, isn't it?

Tip of the Week: Use vs. Utilize

Many people interchange “use” and “utilize.” Some feel that “utilize” sounds fancier or smarter. However, most cases, “use” is the better choice.

“Utilize” means “make use of,” as in when you are using an object for something other than its intended purpose.

Examples:
When we are out of plastic spoons in the kitchen, I utilize a fork to eat my yogurt.
(While this is not the fork’s intended use, I am making use of it.)

Frank utilized his laptop as a pillow and took a nap at his desk.
(His laptop is not supposed to be used a pillow, but he made use of it as such.)

Please use the form on the website to register for the event.
(This is the form’s intended use, so use it.)

The Bottom Line:
While it doesn’t sound as fancy, “use” is the most appropriate word almost every time. Think twice before using “utilize.”

Less is More

I have a special request from Kate, who writes:

"Please address Gardasil's annoying 'one less' slogan. For the love of all things holy, I will not be one less woman with cervical cancer! I will be one fewer! I'd rather get genital warts than buy into that grammatically incorrect company!"

As Kate so aptly points out, Gardasil, a vaccine against HPV (a virus that causes genital warts and has been linked to cervical cancer) has been running some pretty offensive ads on TV lately. While Gardasil seeks to protect young girls from a potentially life-threatening condition, it also inoculates them with poor grammar in the form of its "One Less" slogan. Although it's admittedly less catchy, the slogan, indeed, should be "One Fewer."

"Less" versus "fewer" represents a common grammar pitfall with a simple explanation. "Less" modifies mass nouns, and "fewer" modifies nouns you can count. For example, you would say, "There are fewer eggs in this basket" because you can count how many eggs are in the basket. However, you would say, "There is less sunlight today" because you can't count "sunlights."

Perhaps because of its brevity, "less" often sneaks in where "fewer" should be, such as in the "10 items or less" line at the grocery store. (If you can count the items in your basket, it should be "10 items or fewer.") In Gardasil's case, the number of women with cervical cancer is countable, and therefore, if you are not among that number, you will be "one fewer."

Probably Certainly

CNN effectively watered down its dire predictions for Hurricane Ike with this rather meaningless phrase: Forecasters warn Ike may bring "certain death" (emphasis mine).

Because there is no way to be "a little bit dead," I guess most everything that can cause death can also cause "certain" death, including Hurricane Ike, weapons of mass destruction and trans fats.

Thanks to Sarah for spotting this say-nothing headline!

Concert of One

Unless you have multiple personalities, you can't get together with yourself to produce a "concerted effort," as this high school president seems to think.

By definition, a concerted effort is one performed together in cooperation with others. Contrary to popular belief, it does not mean "large" or "dedicated" or "determined." Especially if you are in the position to teach our children, please think twice before calling any of your own efforts "concerted."

Tip of the Week: Everyday vs. Every day

Everyday
“Everyday” is an adjective meaning “daily” or “for ordinary days.”

Examples:
Going to Starbucks is an everyday activity for Brenda. (a daily activity)

Instead of her everyday coffee, she ordered a mocha frappuccino. (instead of her coffee for ordinary days)

Every day
“Every day” is a time expression meaning “each day.”

Example:
I go to Starbucks every day. (I go to Starbucks each day.)

The bottom line:
If you can replace the expression with “each day,” use “every day.” If you can replace the expression with “daily,” use “everyday.”